ABOUT THIS SITE
This website is a brain dump. That is a technical
term that I made up, and the technical term is: I have a thought, the thought is
not going anywhere, so I am putting it here where it can live.
There are 99 pages. About 20% of them are games. The games
work. All of them. I tested them. I tested them by letting my friends play them and
then saying "did you finish?" and they said "no" and I said "ok" and that was the
QA process.
75 of the 99 are FUNNYNEWS, a newspaper
that covers five years of real events and has a comment section on every story. The
events are real. The dates are right. Everything after the third paragraph is me, and
I put exactly one joke in each story, which is more restraint than the comment
sections demonstrate.
I do not know who I am trying to reach. That is not a
bit, that is a genuine administrative problem I have had since 2001.
WHAT THIS SITE IS NOT
- not a business. (no affiliate links. genuinely none. check.)
- not a portfolio. (nothing here is good enough to sell and i know that.)
- not a blog. (a blog requires recurring themes. i have one brain cell and it wanders.)
- not tracked. no cookies, no pixels, no fingerprint, no "we value your privacy", because there is nothing to value.
- not AI-generated. (it is very obvious. everything is hand-placed. look at the line breaks. nobody would choose these line breaks. i chose these line breaks.)
- not for you. (it is for me. you are just visiting. that's allowed. visit more.)
FAQ (QUESTIONS I ANTICIPATED, 4 YEARS LATE)
| "who made this" | me. not "a team." not "we." me, one person, one toaster (a 2nd toaster, actually). |
| "how long did it take" | the site: 3 nights. the brain dump inside it: 9 years, ongoing, will never be finished, has never been finished, is right here. |
| "is it finished" | 94%. it has been 94% since 2004. it is not a goal. it is a condition. |
| "why does it look like this" | because the internet looked like this once, and it was good, and i refuse to be embarrassed about it. |
| "can i take something" | yes. take the blinkies. take the maze. take the CSS. nobody will stop you. that is the deal. that was always the deal. |
| "are you ok" | the 5th cell is on strike again so honestly, who knows. but the games work. the games are ok. |
THINGS HIDDEN IN HERE
There are 34 of them. You have found
0 so far, which is more than i expected from a person
and less than i will admit to in public.
I am not going to tell you how to find them,
because that would turn them into a list, and a list is just this page with the mystery
removed. Three of the 34 are real things that happen to the world. The other 31 are me.
(there is a difference and you can feel it but you cannot prove it.)
One of them is a key above the tab key. One of them
only works if you have already found another one. One of them is on the page you are
reading right now and you will not have noticed it, because the best place to hide
something is inside a paragraph that is already about something else.
THE EGG LOG (I SAID I WOULDN'T LINK IT)
i said i wouldn't link it. then i linked it. that is the whole energy of this website.
CONTACT
EMAIL: nobody@nowhere.invalid
AIM: not on aim. it is 2004. aim is a place now.
ICQ: 1145148. (i set this number as a joke in 2002. it was not a joke.)
MAIL: i live in a house that is a person. just say hi to the house. it will not answer. that is the relationship.
i check email every 4-9 business days. my business days are theoretical.
COLOPHON
Hand-coded in Notepad. Zero frameworks. Zero dependencies. The counter, the maze,
the minesweeper, the memory game, the sliding puzzle, the tower of hanoi, the
reaction tester, the mind reader and the 3d one (which is a real raycaster,
in one file, with every texture drawn by hand) were all written by one
exhausted person.
The layout is tables. The tables are inside tables. There is a table inside that
table that serves no purpose and never will.
Fonts used: Tahoma (the workhorse), Comic Sans MS (the clown), Courier New (the
cryptid), Georgia (the one time i got serious).
The background tile is 16×16 pixels. It has been 16×16 pixels since 2004.
It will be 16×16 pixels when the heat death of the universe occurs.
The tile is the most stable thing in this entire website.
THIS PAGE IS ALSO 94% DONE · THE OTHER 6% IS VAPOR · 94%
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