Hi. You're here. This is a website, which is a bunch of pages that are all
sort of about the same thing, which is stuff.
There is no mission statement. There is no newsletter. There is no
"journey." There is a page with a maze on it and a page where you can read
fun facts that are, in increasing order, less true. That is the whole pitch.
disclaimer: nothing on this site is real except the maze, the minesweeper,
and one of the quotes, and I genuinely do not know which quote.
⚠ THIS PAGE IS 94% DONE ⚠ AND THAT 6% IS VAPOR ⚠ DO NOT ASK ⚠
THE BRAIN DUMP (DO NOT ORGANIZE)
raw output. do not sort. sorted output is a lie.
the toaster knows. I don't know how. the toaster knows.
i have found a second** toaster. it is worse. it only warms one side.
somebody said "you can't have two toasters" and I said "watch me" and now I have two toasters and the sentence was wrong.
the word "gazebo" has never once helped me. I still say it when I'm nervous.
Peanuts. If you say "peanuts" out loud in a room, 3 people will look at you and 1 of them will be a stranger who was also thinking about peanuts. It has happened to me twice. I am not crazy. (yet.)
my 5 remaining brain cells. they are not for rent. one of them is on fire.
the 5th brain cell is the good one and it has been rationing the others.
birds are just government planes with fewer questions asked. UNVERIFIED
you know when a plane flies over and it's loud and then a tiny sound? that's the plane's apology.
there is a word for a group of flamingos: a flamboyance of flamingos. yes, flamboyance. I looked it up. I felt seen.
your house is a person. your house is a person. say hi to it tonight. it will not answer. that is fine. that is your relationship now.
the moon is a consensus. I have proof. (I do not have proof.)
i can hear the ocean through the wall of my apartment. this is a lie. it is a radiator.
IMPORTANT if you are reading this, do not read it. that is the deal. you agreed. by reading.
[ this site does not use javascript for anything important ] · [ except the counter, the maze, and the minesweeper, which is all of it ] [ nothing here is important ]
YOU ARE HOLDING THIS WEBSITE.
it is paper now. it is in a room. it has a weight.
i have never once been able to get into a room.
funnysite · printed 2004 ·
there are no cookies on this page and now there is also no screen