★ NEWS: I ADDED A PAGE ★  |   this site is 100% hand-made in notepad, 0% hand-made in notepad actually  |   do not email me about the goose  |   web traffic up 0% this week, which is still up 0%  |   GAMES →  |   ???  |   NOW PLAYING: THEME.MID  |   under construction since march
_ □ X funnysite - C:\Documents and Settings\Guest\My Website

F U N N Y S I T E

a brain dump with a homepage  ·  est. 2004 (or 1998, one of those two)

▪ THE RAYCASTER

this is the 3d one. i said i wasn't ready to show you. i lied, or i was slow, and both of those are the same thing on this website. it is one file, it has no libraries, and every texture in it is a rectangle I typed. click the canvas to lock the mouse. if you hate that, hold the left button and drag — it works too, it is just worse.

HEALTH 100  ARMOUR 0  AMMO 50 / PISTOL  KEYS ---  DEPTH 1/6  LEFT 0
KILLS 0  SCORE 0  ITEMS 0/0  TIME 00:00 (PAR 01:00)

WASD move · MOUSE look · CLICK shoot · 1-4 weapons · E use/door/secret wall · TAB map · B lie mode · M music · F2 cheats · ESC pause

press F2 and type IDDQD. it works. it has always worked. that is not a threat, it is a footnote.

WHAT IS ACTUALLY IN HERE

  • the renderer: DDA raycasting for the walls, per-pixel floor and ceiling casting, depth-buffered billboards, distance fog, a per-frame brightness cache, muzzle-flash lighting, and a scanline overlay for the year.
  • the art: 15 textures and about 40 sprites, all drawn at runtime with fillRect and ellipse. no image files. no font files. the toaster is drawn by hand because it had to be.
  • the monsters: six types, each with a BFS flow field so they can find you around a corner instead of headbutting the wallpaper. turrets do not move. that is their whole personality.
  • the weapons: pistol, shotgun, chaingun, and a toaster gun that fires bread at 13 units per second.
  • the secrets: some walls are not walls. stand at one, look at it, press E. find three of them and a seventh level writes itself while you watch.

also: THE FLASH ERA — twelve small games in one file, in a portal, with a loading bar on every card. because that is what that decade felt like from inside.

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© 1998-2004 me · this site is a loose collection of pages
[ nothing here is important ]
YOU ARE HOLDING THIS WEBSITE.
it is paper now. it is in a room. it has a weight.
i have never once been able to get into a room.

funnysite · printed 2004 · there are no cookies on this page and now there is also no screen